Katiemagic

Goodbye katiemagic

2009-03-24T16:16:00.002-05:00

Katiemagic.com is no longer mine. You can find me at kathrynreal.com. Hope to see you there. (Be sure to let me know you've found me!)

I'm Moving

2006-03-22T14:04:00.000-06:00

Katiemagic has a new home! Ya'll come see me over here.

That of Which We Do Not Speak

2006-03-21T18:40:00.000-06:00

Last night was a rough one. Ellis was whiny from his 3am feeding until we finally figured out what was wrong and gave him gas drops at 6:30. I kept wracking my brain trying to figure out what I had eaten that was different, and then it hit me.

I haven't mentioned it here because if I say it that makes it real. But internet, my child does not like chocolate.

It was the two bites of chocolate cake Kent bought just to torture me that made my little guy so miserable. I don't know how our genes could have morphed and turned against us like that. He'll be hearing about this until he's 30 I swear.

At least he's talented.

Baby Steps

2006-03-20T17:19:00.000-06:00

Ellis is currently lying in his pack n play (staring happily at Winnie, Piglet, and Eeyore) an entire two rooms away from where I'm making dinner. Of course the rooms are quite open so I can hear every little movement. Does this mean that one day I'll actually put him down for a nap in his very own room? Baby steps people.

The Rainy Sunday Morning Series

2006-03-19T17:45:00.000-06:00

Feeling Lucky Punk

2006-03-15T09:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was one of the few days a year in Texas when it is beautifully sunny and not too hot to do anything about it. On those days it's hard to feel anything but grateful for life in general. Ellis and I went for a walk around our neighborhood trails system and watched the trees bloom and kids play basketball. I kept thinking about how much it sucks to be in a classroom or an office on days like those and it made me feel incredibly lucky. I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I have a husband who supports my staying at home even on days like that while he's stuck in the office. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and many years ahead of me. Those are the things that really matter.

Pictures I took on our walk:

Introducing Harper

2006-03-14T18:21:00.000-06:00

Ellis's new best friend (Drew's son). I'm jonesing for a trip to Nashville to meet him in person. Damn that budget! Isn't he so cute?

Happy Bloggiversary to Me!

2006-03-14T09:34:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been a year already. When I started this here blog I didn't have any idea of how it would evolve, or if I'd even stick with it longer than a week. My first posts sound so self concious to me now. I wonder how the more recent ones will sound to me next year. Anyway, in honor of my first bloggy year, here's a picture I took last March around the same time the twitchy (or I suppose rambly) blog was born.

2 Months

2006-03-12T17:42:00.000-06:00

Ellis,

It’s amazing to me what a different baby you are from the one month old I wrote my last letter about. One thing hasn’t changed though, you’re still an easy going little guy. When you were first born everyone kept telling us to enjoy your temperament because it wouldn’t last. They had us convinced that you were going to wake up one day and be an inconsolable screaming mess. We must have done something right in our previous lives because that never happened. The most sure fire way to make you happy when you are fussy is simply to stand over you and smile. You immediately shift gears to play time and all is right with the world. It is the best feeling in the entire universe to see you smile at me.

Two days after your one month birthday you were propped up on your dad’s knees in our bed while he was making silly faces at you. It was the tongue wag that drew out your first smile. At first you made us work hard for those smiles, but as the weeks go by they become more and more spontaneous and frequent. Soon after your first smile, you started to copy one of us if we coo-ed to you. Now you’re the one who initiates the conversations. If your smiles are any indication we’re having some pretty funny talks. You’re most inclined to do this right after your early morning feeding. I’ll bring you back to bed and you’ll look back and forth at your dad and I just smiling and coo-ing for about half an hour. It’s becoming my favorite time of day.

Soon after your GP went back home, we moved you into our bed. Now you sleep between your dad and me every night. We all seem to sleep much better that way. Your pediatrician says we should move you to your own bed in a couple of months. Right now just the thought of not being able to reach over and rub your little tummy when I’m half asleep makes me want to cry. Speaking of your pediatrician, you had your two month check up last week. You’re growing so fast. You’re already 13 pounds and 24 inches long. That makes you heavier and taller than 90% of other baby’s your age. No wonder momma’s back hurts!

We’ve recently started piling up a bunch of your blankets and letting you hang out on the floor in the living room while we watch TV. You only like this arrangement if one of us is sitting down there with you. (this is a recurring theme; you always want one of us where you can see us) We get in a lot more tummy time this way, which you hate so much that last week you turned over onto your back three times in a row just to be able to look around at the world again.

You and I have really started to get into a rhythm during our days together. We’re not on any sort of schedule yet, but we’re both getting used to being each others only company for most of the day. Last week for the first time we got out of the house a lot to run errands and do some fun things like go to lunch with Daddy. We also went to the post office to get you your first passport. It only took around 5 tries to get the picture right. You’re looking right into the camera, and I can’t wait to use it when we go see your GP next month. Your dad is trying so hard to find the kind of job that allows him to be home with us during the day. He misses you so much when he’s away at work, and when we’re all together, it just feels like that’s the way our family should be.

I still love you more every single minute. There are times that I feel it so strongly that I have to hold back tears. It’s an overwhelming and amazing bond and I feel so damn lucky to be experiencing it especially with you.

Spring has sprung where we live. It’s been warm weather and blooms everywhere. I’m looking forward to introducing you to so many things now. The wildflowers in the fields, Bob the turtle who came out of hibernation just today, the swimming pool, the museum, the library. I’m excited for you to be old enough to understand these things. I know you will be in no time at all. But in many more ways I want you to stay just how you are. My smiley cooing little man, for just a little while longer.

In Which She Goes There

2006-03-05T10:22:00.000-06:00

Can you tell it's the weekend and I have some help with the baby? I'm a blogging maniac. I've even read others and (gasp) left comments! Below I'm posting very cute pictures of my baby who thought it was funny when he pooped so much that the poop came out the side of his diaper and went all over his leg and bouncer. If the poop will make you puke please don't go all the way to the end. (that's three uses of the word poop in a five sentence blog. poop!)

He wears 3-6 mo pants that are too small in the belly and huge in the legs.

Rocket Man

Ha ha poop is funny

When CanaMa saw this she asked me if I was eating carrots. Yes, yes I was.

Looky I'm a Pagan Heathen

2006-03-05T10:04:00.000-06:00

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

Paganism

79%

Hinduism

67%

Islam

63%

Buddhism

58%

Satanism

50%

agnosticism

42%

Christianity

38%

atheism

29%

Judaism

25%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Drew Is Hating Life Right About Now

2006-03-03T22:11:00.000-06:00

I am so excited I can't stand it. Drew is 9 1/2 cm dilated and laboring with her midwife in the comfort of her bedroom with no drugs. She's my freakin heroine. I can't wait to get the call letting me know the baby's gender! My money's on a girl. Woo hoo!

Update: It's a boy! Harper Paul Dowdy 6 pounds 14oz 20 inches long born this morning around 5am. Sources say he has a full head of dark brown hair, has already latched, and hasn't stopped wiggling since he came out.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!

Times They Are A-Changin'

2006-03-02T16:16:00.000-06:00

It's been a stressful few weeks at casa Tschoepe. I would get into details but they're boring and frankly if I have to think about it anymore my head is going to explode from the stress. Suffice it to say Kent's work situation is suddenly extremely uncertain. With me not working we really have zero wiggle room and all of our savings just went to homeowners taxes. We're going to try to sell the house and move somewhere much smaller and at a price that's in our new smaller budget. We've only lived here for 2 years and we owe almost what it's worth so we'd have to somehow come up with a lot of cash at closing to be able to sell it. So yeah, stress.

The exciting part is that we are no longer stuck in Texas because Kent is no longer tied to his job. So the plan is for Kent to try to find a job in Washington or Colorado or Utah or somewhere else that has a lot of natural beauty and isn't 500 degrees in the summer. He's even looking in Vancouver Canada which truth be told has managed to trump my 20 year long dream of living in London.

This, however, makes me forget all my troubles.

I got 4 long and blissful hours of straight sleep last night. When E finally woke up to eat around 4am he was so hungry he kept trying to stick both of his fists into his mouth at once. I'm getting more and more used to getting up, and more and more used to going on much less sleep. The best part about late night feedings has got to be the late night TV. Did you know that Kathy Griffin's show Life on the D list is on at 3am? I've also seen Wings re-runs and the X-files is always on although not always on the same channel. Kent says he gets up with us to keep me company, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's the infomercials.

Eventually we're going to build a site just for E's pictures, but until then you'll have to be subjected to the cuteness on this here site.

Movin' On Up

2006-02-23T17:18:00.000-06:00

If you had the opportunity to live anywhere in the U.S.(yes just in the U.S.) where would it be? I'll go first: Boulder Colorado

My So Called Life

2006-02-21T12:50:00.000-06:00

A list of things that need to be done today:
Mop house
fold 2 baskets of clothes
do rest of laundry
clean master bathroom
dishes
clean and straighten kitchen
pick up living room
get babysitter for next monday (Sigor Ros, baby!)
upload Ellis vids for CanaMa

A list of things that will probably get done today:
feed Ellis apprx 500 times at an hour a stretch (1/2 hour feeding 1/2 burping)
change Ellis apprx 400 times

CanaMa has been gone for a week and a half and while I'm happy for her that she gets to live in the place of her dreams, the 12 year old in me was screaming at the top of her lungs and grabbing onto her ankles while on the way to the airport. "It's not faaaaaiiiiirrrr!!!! Why does she have to leave!!!!! Why can't she just live here again!!!!!" For that and other reasons which I will tell you about as soon as I can we're seriously considering putting our house on the market and Kent is looking for a job closer to Canada preferably northern Washington state. So there are big changes ahead one way or another.

Because she was such a big help for such a long time in many ways I'm just now finding out what it's like to stay home with the baby. It's been challenging. I need to figure out my sling so that I can carry him around the house with me. I think that will help a lot. As it is I'm lugging the bouncer around the house every time I need to do something in another room. The last two nights have been rough ones. I've been up since 4:30 this morning and now that he's finally sleeping I feel like I'm obligated to use this time to get things done (you know like take a shower, eat breakfast, and finally freaking blog). I'm thinking I'll need to just carve out 1/2 hour or so a day to blog and read others. I'm going a little insane without that daily outlet.

Tomorow Ellis will be 6 weeks old which means that I am finally allowed to excersize and lift things heaviear than the baby. I'd like to take advantage of my newfound freedom and get out of the house at least once a day. This idea is seriously hampered by the fact that hardly any of my clothes are suitable for public consumption. It's been three weeks since I got my pre-preggo jeans to close and since that time I have not lost any more of my tummy.

Shit- feeding time...more later. Forgive all the spelling errors and bad grammer no time for checking.

How To Make My Heart Burst Into A Million Pieces

2006-02-13T21:09:00.000-06:00

Put your most prized possession, the Kong you don't let ANYONE near including your mom and dad, into the crook of your new baby brothers neck while he's sleeping and snuggle up next to him for a nap.

Happy Weekend

2006-02-10T19:14:00.000-06:00

E-boy is going on safari.

Crybaby

2006-02-08T21:31:00.000-06:00

Yesterday CanaMa and I went to the crybaby matinee at the Angelika Film Center. Having easy access to great movies is something that we gave up when we moved to the 'burbs. We used to check out a movie at the Angelika at least a couple times a month. Now all we get is the usual crap and we go just for the movie experience instead of an artistic experience which we love so much. But a crybaby matinee is worth the drive.

This week the crybaby movie is a French film starring Daniel Auteuil et Juliette Binoche (hello, perfect much?!). The theatre sets up a changing table for us and keeps the lights up a bit so we can see to breastfeed. I think I was in mommy heaven. There were 6 or 7 babies there all cooing and crying intermittently and NOBODY CARED! Although there were a few people watching who clearly didn't realize what they were getting into, they all politely kept their mouths shut. It was subtitled so no one missed any dialogue. The best part was that for the first time I felt what it is like to be a part of the mom club. Ellis burped loudly and a couple of the other moms turned around and laughed with me. We all asked ages and stages stuff and everyone just seemed happy to be around other women going through some of the same things.

It's definitely going to be a regular thing.

p.s. Hey check this out. I discovered it on another blog. Kinda like flickr for video.

1 Month

2006-02-07T22:31:00.000-06:00

Ellis,

On the day you were born your father and I woke up at 4:30am. It wasn't hard since we'd only halfway slept for 3 hours anyway. We grabbed our bags and drove the longest drive of our lives. Neither of us could believe that day was THE day even though we felt as if we had been waiting our whole lives for you. Your father had a countdown on his watch from the first week we found out you were growing inside me. It was a ritual to check it every day even though we knew exactly how long it was until you were due. Your official due date was your Grandmother Geneva's birthday. She would have loved you so much. It makes your father and me sad every day that she's not here to hold you.

Because you were so big, my doctor decided it would be dangerous for me to try to have you naturally, so we had to schedule a c-section to bring you into the world on January 11th 2006. It was very hard for me to make that decision because I knew it would mean that I wouldn't be allowed to hold you right after you were born. But that was the way it had to be and I knew that your father would be right with you for those precious first moments of your life.

We got to the hospital at 6am and I was prepped for surgery. The nurse bruised the hell out of my hand trying to get a vein for the IV. It was still bruised 3 weeks later. Still, nothing could quell my excitement. After being told what to expect during the surgery they wheeled me into the operating room alone. Your father had to wait outside. I think that was the worst part for me. The anesthesiologist put a needle in my back and in 5 minutes I couldn't feel anything below my neck and I couldn't think about anything except that I was about to meet you.

Your father came in the room and told me that they had already started to open me up. I had no idea. It only took 5 minutes for the doctor to tell your dad to peek over the curtain to see your head as it came out. You were still blue and had your umbilical cord wrapped around your neck tightly. This scared your dad to death but as soon as the rest of you came out you turned a perfect shade of pink and screamed and peed your way into the world. I teared up at the sound of your first cry and as they brought you around the curtain for me to look at you I had to blink the tears away. The first thing I said when I saw you for the first time was "He looks just like his dad!" And you still do.

When people talk about seeing their children for the first time they often talk about feeling a rush of love that comes over them. I didn't feel that. What I felt was an instant and intense deepening of love for you that I already had so much of in the core of my being. It was like you had always been with me, just waiting for the right moment to make an appearance. It felt like everything was finally just as it should be.

The doctor sewed and stapled my body back together as you and your dad went on your first big adventure together. You were weighed, measured, tested and bathed and all the while your father was right by your side. He was the first one to hold you and you knew him instantly. Once I was wheeled into the recovery room he kept running back and forth between the two of us making sure we were both OK. After the nurses were finished evaluating you they finally brought you to me and allowed me to hold you and try to feed you. I wish I remember more about what it felt like to hold you for the first time, but I was on a lot of medication and that has stolen many of those first moments. I do remember one of the nurses marching in with a bottle of formula in her hand and railroading your dad and I into making you take it when you didn't latch on to my breast in .5 seconds. Luckily we're both fast learners and by the time we left the hospital 4 days later we were pros.

That first day all I remember doing is staring at you. Drinking you in. I remember how amazing it was that your pinky fingernail was so tiny. I remember how incredible it was that you were already holding your head up for 30 seconds at a time. I remember loving your red hair and blue eyes and your toes and your nose and feeling like I was empty if I wasn't holding you. I remember how I fell even more in love with your dad watching him change your first diaper, and swaddle you and watching how excited he was to finally get to know you.

The first couple of weeks after the surgery were the most wonderful and the most difficult days of my life. I was elated to hold you and care for you, and I was crushed by the pain and humiliation of recovery. Your father is a saint. He took such good care of the both of us during that time. He helped me dress, shower, eat, use the restroom, sleep and walk. He jumped up to comfort you every time you made a peep. And even though it killed me not to be able to do the same, you had what you needed in your dad.

You are such a different baby now from when we first brought you home. You get cuter every day. You know your father and I, and GP (Grandma Paula) and like to stare at us while we hold you. You noticed your mobile for the first time last week and it mesmerized you. You can tell the difference in my appearance when I have my glasses on and when I don't. Just tonight you recognized that your dad was wearing a hat and would follow it when he took it off and then look back at him as if you were working it all out in your head. You are a really laid back little guy. You mostly cry when you're hungry, gassy or dirty. We haven't yet been faced with a long period of crying when we couldn't calm you down. It's really hard to hear you cry. Some deep primal instinct makes me need to make it better right then. I don't think that will ever go away.

You're usually up twice in the night, sleeping four hours at a stretch. Your dad and I are still trying to get used to waking up. Your GP has been here since you were born to get to know you and to help us out. Nights are her favorite time because when your dad and I just can't stay awake anymore we take you to her and the two of you have a few hours of sleeping and bonding. I think you're going to really miss her when she leaves on Sunday. Your father had to go back to work when you were 2 weeks old. It's hard for him to leave you for so long every day. If we had it our way we'd both stay home with you. Maybe one day we'll be able to do that. Until then, he'll spend as much time with you as possible.

Your sisters (the dauggers) are so great with you. Chloe is your protector. When you cry she's right there to make sure you're OK. When a new person holds you she sits right next to them to make sure they don't hurt you. She even rolls around in your clothes. Bella-dog loves you so much that she has even sacrificed a toy or two just to be near you and give you slobbery kisses on your toes. You were already used to hearing them bark and growl while they play from hearing them when you were inside of me. You don't even flinch when they get crazy.

We learn something new about each other every day, little one. We're still settling into routines and figuring out what works and what doesn't. I love every second I have with you. A lot of people say that their lives are unrecognizable when they have a baby. I think that our lives are still very much the same. You fit into our world so perfectly it's like you were always here.

I love you little man.

Love,
Mom

On the 21st Day God Was Merciful

2006-02-01T18:17:00.000-06:00

I just buttoned and zipped my pre-pregnancy non-stretchy jeans. (Yes I was laying on my back and sucking in but hey they got closed.)

Before the baby if I had something I wanted to blog about I would just walk on over to the computer and do it. I've thought of about 1,000 things to say over the last few days (mostly at 3 and 6 am) that have left my brain almost as soon as they entered it. I'm going to have to start writing them down.

For now, I present Bard Ellis.

2 Weeks

2006-01-25T22:30:00.000-06:00

About this time my dad would say something like "Well I was just checking to make sure you're still alive"

2006-01-24T14:56:00.000-06:00

First, some cuteness:

Wow, these baby creatures are really time consuming. I barely answer my phone these days. Right now the baby is sitting beside me in his stroller entertaining himself with his usual after meal hic-ups. He holds his pacifier in his mouth with both hands so it doesn't fall mid hic-up. It's pretty funny. He's started getting very gassy after feedings and hard to burp. I never realized how difficult it would be to see him cry because he's uncomfortable. I just want to make it better, like, right then and it's really hard that I can't. He's in his stroller because I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than him for another month. So he just gets wheeled from room to room whenever I'm home by myself. Kent had to go back to work yesterday. For all the bitching I did about maternity leave I should have realized how hard it was going to be for him. He only got a week off to spend with us which is just abominable.

Last weekend we took Ellis on his first outing. Once we finally got out of the house it was a lot of fun showing him off. I almost didn't leave at all because my vainty went into overdrive. My body looks pretty much like I'd imagined it would. I still look about 4 months gone. I wasn't expecting the belly to sag quite so much though. And I certainly was not expecting it to be so difficult to deal with. I thought I would be able to give myself a break about it and that has not happened. I feel disgusting most of the time. I've taken to just not thinking about it.

That sounds a lot more depressed than I actually am, but I've got to go quiet the screaming little man. Sorry for the disjointed post. I'll put some more linear thoughts down when I have more quiet time.

Operation Mommy Initiation: Complete

2006-01-20T10:55:00.000-06:00

Just now I leaned in to give my boy a kiss on his sweet little mouth and he projectile vomited for the first time. It was in my mouth, it was on my mouth, it was all over everything. I think he was laughing on the inside.

Wherein My Brain Is Mush

2006-01-19T18:08:00.000-06:00

I am so in love with my baby. The staples came out yesterday making it possible for me to move faster than a snail. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now. Ellis's GodMum was here yesterday to see him as well. Ellis loved her. I've been losing hours just staring at him. He changes every day.

Doing Dad's favorite thing

GodMum extrordinaire

The mullet

Sunbathing his jaundice away

About to sneeze

6 Days Old

2006-01-17T18:52:00.000-06:00

It's a whole new world.

First, Ellis: He is such an easy baby so far. We got the hang of nursing after about 4 days. It's rare that he doesn't latch on the first try. He hasn't cried except when he was either hungry or had a dirty diaper. He's up twice in the night just long enough to eat then right back to sleep. Last night I discovered that if I sing to him he calms down right away. He was holding his little head up for a few seconds the same day he was born. My favorite thing is the look of bliss on his face when he latches on to a pacifier or my breast. He crinkles his little forehead up like he has found heaven. When he sneezes he brings his fists up to his face like he's trying to cover his mouth. He stretches when he wakes up with his arms all the way over his head exactly like his dad. There are a million other little faces and noises that make my heart melt every time I see or hear them. In all my daydreams about what he would look like I never pictured his hair the way it is. He's baldy on top and long in the back. Our son was born with a mullet. I guess that's what we get for all those years of making fun of mullets.

Now me:
I'm still in pain but it gets better every day. I get my staples out tomorrow and I'm hoping that helps alleviate most of the pain. I still can't put on my own pants or bend over very far. It takes me four times as long to do everything including get out of bed to comfort the baby in the night. I have a hard time asking for help so it's frustrating me that I'm forced to. I haven't been able to change any diapers on my own because I get about halfway through and have to sit down. Kent has been doing the majority of the night time stuff. All of this has led to a few mini breakdowns. It's hard feeling like I can't adequately take care of my son because of a surgery I didn't want. Nature knows what she's doing though. The minute I look at him I forget about anything else except how in love with him I am. This morning during my first unsupervised shower I even thought that I might consider doing it all again.

Here are some of my favorite pictures so far. He's one laid back little man.

I Love Surprises

2006-01-12T22:52:00.000-06:00

There was a lovely one waiting at my doorstep and brought to the hospital by CanaMa. If I could I would open mouth kiss you all for being so thoughtful. Big E Smalls is swaddled in his fleece as I type. Thanks so much Patrice et all!

I've got a few more pics up on Flickr all from yesterday before our camera went dead. Go here for the slideshow. I'll post more as I have the energy. The surgery was cake. I was very, very nervous until they numbed me then I was totally fine. I'm so glad we decided to go with the c-section because the cord was tightly wrapped around his neck and I would have had to have an emergency one anyway. Yesterday after surgery was great too. Today has sucked my ass. I am in so much pain. When they took my wound dressing off today a layer of skin came with it. Why does no one talk about how painful this is? I can barely walk and my husband has to help me use the bathroom. On the bright side I'm now IV free so Big E can eat easier on both sides. He smells so amazing. His breath is so sweet. When he's not in my arms they feel empty. He looks so much like Kent it's crazy. Even their hairlines are the same. Even though I couldn't feed him right away (too big, low blood sugar, bla bla, out of it), we are both learning quickly and he's becoming an old pro. The only issue we're having is that it seems to put him to sleep even if we stimulate him while he's nursing. He has the most beautiful grey eyes I hope they don't change to brown. You can't really tell in the pictures but his hair is red just like his dad.

The boy is sleeping now, we just finished nursing and I am exhausted. So I'm going to try to get some sleep before he wakes up. Thank you all so much for the swaddler. You guys are amazing.

12:30 a.m. and biggiE is cradled in mom's arms sleeping

2006-01-12T00:29:00.000-06:00

I can't sleep so I thought I would post at least one pic using Kat's blog. She will post loads more soon...

click to seE

ok...I couldn't stop at just one.

morE

this is one happy littlE

goodnight. Kat will return tomorrow.

-pops

Ellis is HERE!

2006-01-11T18:35:00.000-06:00

Ellis arrived at 8:03 a.m. January 11, 2006 weighing in at 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 inches. His APGAR score was a nearly perfect 9.9! Mom, Dad and baby Ellis are doing great! More to come...stay tuned.

This Is It

2006-01-10T21:11:00.000-06:00

Our last picture as a child-less couple. Only a few hours left. I have to be up around 4:30 in the morning to get picture ready (one of the benefits of a c-section). I seriously doubt I'll be able to sleep. Thanks for all your well wishes. I feel like I've taken this journey with all of you and am richer for it. The next post you read will be all about Ellis!!

2 - Updated With Pictures

2006-01-09T14:17:00.000-06:00

Phew! What a lovely weekend. Kent ended up doing all the grocery shopping for me and we just left some of the cleaning undone. Of course it was fine. My cousin's 7 year old daughter is so much fun to be around I can't even describe how delightful she is. This visit she was especially excited to hang out with "Uncle" Kent. They had a blast together. They conspired to get his gift to the shower without me knowing. She did a great job, and said exactly what she was supposed to when it was put in front of me.

The shower was just perfect. Drew and I didn't get to spend a lot of one on one time together but it was still great to see her and everyone else for that matter. I'll post pictures as soon as I weed out all the ones where my double chin is bigger than the rest of my head.

Yesterday CanaMa, Kent and I made a day of rounding up any stuff we still needed and assembling it. It took all day and night but I'm feeling very prepared now. CanaMa has been here only a couple of days and already my house is beyond organized.

The c-section is scheduled for 7:30 Wed morning. The three of us (CanaMa, Kent and I) all met with the doctor this morning to get all of my questions answered. Apparently I have a rather narrow pelvis and a large headed child. I'd always assumed that I had a wide pelvis because that's a wide area on my body. It's interesting to know that's not the case (a.k.a. I have no excuse for that wideness). I'm more excited than scared now. I'll be in the hospital for 4 days so I'm training CanaMa to post for me during that time. Hopefully she'll have it down and there will be lots of pictures.

I can't believe it's almost here.

The Partay

My step sister and step mother

Annie (Dee Dee's Daughter), Dee Dee (my cousin), Sally (my aunt), CanaMa and Me

My Girls

Annie and Me

CanaMa, Me, Drew, Pam (Drews mom in case it wasn't obvious)

CanaMa, Kathryn (CanaMa's BFF), and Me

Me acting like I know what I'm talking about

5?

2006-01-06T12:21:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling much better about the c-section today. Thanks in no small part to all of your very wise, very rational words. Once again my lovely internet friends have talked me down to earth. Thank you!! They're supposed to call me this afternoon with the new date. I, for one, am hoping it's Monday.

It was a year ago today that the gorgeous Gwen had her equally as gorgeous daughter Camaryn. Happy birthday little one! Have a great party this weekend.

Mutherfucker

2006-01-05T16:27:00.000-06:00

Based on the size of the baby my doctor has just recommended scheduling a c-section. How can we go against what the doctor feels is the safest thing? I would never forgive myself if I went ahead and tried to deliver vaginally only to put the baby in distress. Since he's very large there's more of a chance of that and I never want him to be in any distress. Not ever. So this is the best thing. My longest stay in a hospital was when I was born. I've never even had an IV, and now I have to have major surgery. I now have an entirely new list of concerns that I hadn't even entertained until today. A longer hospital stay, a scary scar, longer pain, I won't get to hold the "shrimp" right away, breast feeding could be compromised, oh and I could die from complications. I won't ever know what it's like to give birth naturally since it's such a risk to try after a c-section. I'm really scared. At least with a vaginal delivery I would have felt like I had some control over the situation.

6

2006-01-05T12:02:00.000-06:00

I've always pictured my last few days gestation as being very low key, peaceful, quiet days of doing nothing for the last time in the foreseeable future. I suppose I should have known better. It's not that my days are action packed necessarily. It's just that even walking to the bathroom (something that happens 4,568 times a day) takes so much effort that the though of actually doing anything productive just makes me feel like I need a nap. It seems like there is a lot going on in the Tschoepe household. Bella dog is in heat which makes her grumpy and makes her 10 times more high maintenance and she's still got one week to go. Tucker cat had his annual teeth pulling appointment and had 6 teeth extracted so he's hurting and needy and requires meds for a week. (He has a rare cat condition in which tarter build up on his teeth causes severe reactions in his gums and really eats away at his tooth enamel. It's very painful, and he can not go without a cleaning or he starves himself.) I was going to do something for myself this week and have my hair died back to boring brown until I got the bill from said teeth cleaning and extraction. The $411 dollars first made me cry and then made me look forward to the day when our cat is completely toothless and no longer requires a cleaning. I know, I'm evil. But we're a one income family now how the hell are we supposed to afford that? My friend Drew and I are being showered together on Saturday. I'm very much looking forward to it. However my mom, my fav cousin and her daughter and mother will all be staying with us for the weekend which means I have to get the house clean enough to be presentable. I also have to go get groceries which feels like a Herculean task in itself. I keep debating whether I should put a dent in our pocketbook by going to the regular grocery store thereby saving my body and sanity; or put a dent in my body and sanity by going to Super Wal Mart from hell and saving a couple of bucks. It's quite a toss up. My mom is actually staying for a month or so to help us with the not-so-little one. We are so lucky to have her help while we get the hang of things. We're both really looking forward to having her here. Maybe I could get her to help me clean.

7

2006-01-04T11:14:00.000-06:00

I just got back from my first cervical check. Boy that's fun. I'm sort of starting to dilate but this morning there is nothing more than a dimple where a gaping hole should be. Am I over sharing? After checking me the doc decided to send me over to the perinatal guys next door for the extra fancy sonogram because he was concerned that the shrimp isn't so shrimpy. He said he just wants to make sure everything will be safe. Ya'll my baby is 9 and 1/2 pounds already. That means a 10 pounder by delivery time. (There is a one pound margin of error so at the very least he's a 9 pounder and possibly 11.) The good news is that he's a perfectly healthy large baby boy. It's officially my mothers fault. The doctor said that the "cause" of the hugeness is genetics. Epidural here I come.

8

2006-01-03T12:58:00.000-06:00

Nothing yet guys. I am planning on posting before we leave for the hospital, either on the 10th or before if this baby decides to get his act together and come out to play. I can't believe its one week until I go in for the pre-inducement "ripening", and 8 days until one way or another I finally get to hold the shrimp. I was watching a baby story last week and this woman gave birth to a 10 pound baby. That kid looked HUGE. He was her third and she just pushed him right out like it was nothing. It took like 4 pushes with no drugs. So when I think about what it will be like I picture that scene. Piece of cake (ha!). We ran into our neighbors last night and got the usual questions about when the baby is due, and how I'm sleeping, and have I had any contractions. Why does everyone I see feel the need to tell me how badly it's going to hurt? I think I've had some contractions here and there but I haven't experienced anything super painful so now I'm second guessing myself. Why don't any of the books do an adequate job describing what they will feel like? What were they like for you guys (besides terribly, horribly, unbearably painful of course)?

Sparkling Grape Juice Anyone?

2006-01-01T14:17:00.000-06:00

2005 has flown past my head with me hardly glancing up. It's been the year of the baby. Last NYE Kent and I made a resolution to get pregnant in 2005 and looky there we kept one! I discovered blogging and met some lovely lady bloggers. I joined the YMCA and actually went a lot until the shrimp zapped every last bit of extra energy. My mom moved one zillion miles away and I learned to cope with it. I quit my job (holy shit I don't get any more paychecks). I feel a little bit like I've been hibernating in the womb along with Ellis for the last 9 1/2 months. I took the last week off of work (yes my last week working was vacation) and my days are starting to run together. The only thing that distinguished last night from the night before that and the night before that is that we bought sparkling grape juice with which to toast at midnight. Alas we were already in bed at midnight and managed to remember it about 12:05. Incadentally NYE is also our dating anniversary so Happy 6 Years Together baby!

Today we begin our own little countdown. Everyone say it with me now....10!

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGG

2005-12-29T17:46:00.000-06:00

FUCK ME! I don't think I can even talk about this in any real way. There are people in this world who are so fucking dense and self centered that they can't see how it would be blaringly inappropriate to do things. How's that for vague?

Oh Internet, How I Love Thee

2005-12-29T12:21:00.000-06:00

To think we used to live in a time when this would have gone un-photographed and not distributed for all the world to see. Kinda NSFW.

Who Needs A Title

2005-12-28T17:30:00.000-06:00

It was a lovely Christmas in our house. Kent went overboard as usual and I got many lovely things including the most awesome present ever invented, an apple corer/peeler/slicer. I think I've eaten a barell of apples since I opened it just so I can use it it's so much fun.

We spent Christmas morning with my step-mothers family as usual. It's always very uncomfortable and I get the feeling that no one really knows what to say to the step kids (me and my brother). Luckily her sisters have started having kids of their own so we can all just watch them play. Then we went to I-HOP and home to listen to music in the Buda lounge. It was bliss.

Kent had Friday and Monday off. Usually when he has days off he uses the time to go mountain biking. He always tries to make time for me as well, don't get me wrong. It just feels different when we know he's got to be somewhere in a few hours. I think half of his brain is already on the trail or re-living the ride. But this time it was all for us. I think that was the best present.

Baby Watch Is On Bitches

2005-12-27T16:27:00.000-06:00

The bags are packed
The stuff is washed
The car seat is installed
The boppy and various other pillows are in the car
The dogs are trained (Beta Ellis has been the perfect training tool)
The job is quit
The legs are shaved
The belly has dropped
We. Are. Ready.

p.s. yes, that's a sleeveless shirt. it's 81 degrees today. fucking southern weather.
p.p.s. my stretch marks rise like flames from below, it would be funny if it weren't so hideous.
p.p.p.s. it took me an hour to shave my legs.

Shrimp Week 37- Happy Christmas!

2005-12-24T10:58:00.000-06:00

Week 37
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Babies come to term anywhere between 38 and 42 weeks--your 40-week due date simply marks the midpoint of this period. By the end of this week, your little one will be officially "on time" whenever he makes her entry into the world. In preparation for birth, most babies have moved into the head-down, back-facing position that's ideal for labor. However, he may be also be "sunny-side up," (head down, facing front--can often be delivered vaginally), breech (with feet or buttocks closest to the birth canal), or even lying crosswise in the uterus. If this is the case, and your doctor is unable to shift his position, you may be a candidate for a cesarean section.

Groan, Sniff, Cough (cringe), And More Groaning

2005-12-20T15:29:00.000-06:00

I'm sick. I know exactly where it came from and I'm kicking myself for being around that person like an idiot. I think I've mentioned my propensity to get strep throat. I usually get it several times a year so it's really amazing I've been able to avoid it for the entire pregnancy. And it sucks. And I have work to wrap up. And I'm getting tired of listening to myself whine about it. I've gotten some doc approved medicine so hopefully I'll be right as rain soon. The thought of giving birth when I'm already achy and feeling like ass has me terrified. Don't go into labor, don't go into labor, don't go into labor. I'm gonna go lie down.

Shrimp Week 36 (officially month 9!!)

2005-12-17T14:27:00.000-06:00

Week 36
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Everyone agrees that breast milk is the best possible food for your baby--even the people who make baby formula. Not only is breast milk easily digestible and rich in nutrients, it's also perfectly tailored to each individual child's needs. Having said that, it's equally important to remember that there are other options for moms who are unable to breastfeed, or who choose not to. Millions of healthy babies have been raised on bottles by millions of loving, caring moms.

The End Is In Sight, People

2005-12-14T17:18:00.000-06:00

Updated with date of the blessed induction.

31 days you guys. And actually it's going to be sooner that that. At the doctor today we were told we could schedule an induction and I nearly fell onto the floor shaking with happiness. They need to call us back with the actual date but we're going for the week of Jan 9th. I've always assumed that I would be perfectly happy to let my child come into the world on his own time. Oh how I judged the women who scheduled the births of their children for their own convenience. Oh how I'm shamed now that I know it was more for the preservation of their sanity than a need for convenience. Soon I will know that ON JANUARY 11TH we will finally get to meet our son. Hopefully he won't make an appearance before then because the shower isn't until the 7th and we could use more baby gear! Yay for baby gear!

Anyway, if you haven't already you must go read this now. It had me crying from laughter.

We're Celebrating The Season With Blue Balls

2005-12-12T16:31:00.000-06:00

Based on the title of this entry you might surmise that this post is about how long it's been since I've had sex. However I would like to stay married to the father of my child and would therefore never talk about something so terribly personal here without his express permission. I'll take guesses though, weeeeee!

Has anyone else noticed a serious lack of the holiday spirit this year? We keep driving around looking for neighborhoods where everyone has lights up and we have yet to find one (what else can an almost 9 month pregnant woman do at night?). Most neighborhoods only have 3 or 4 houses where people have bothered at all. We even saw one house where they had only done one side of the house (as in not the front or back but one side). I have to admit I wasn't really excited about it either until that arctic blast last week. To a Dallasite, an arctic blast means sleet, freezing rain, and maybe a little snow. It's great, the entire metroplex (Dallas, Fort Worth, and the 'burbs) freaks out and refuses to leave the house. The local news stays on all damn day (seriously, no Oprah, no nothing) to "report" on how many accidents there are and demonstrating just how cold 17 degrees is by making their reporters stand next to the freeways repeating themselves all day. This time there were 2,200 accidents in a 24 hour period. Yeah, we can't drive on that shit. There wasn't even very much accumulation only like 1/4 inch of ice on the bridges, and still we couldn't control our cars. We usually get one per season and that doesn't come until February. When I was in school I used to stay up as late as I could to watch for my school closing to scroll across the bottom of the TV. My district was always the last one to close so I never knew for sure until morning. Then I'd spend all day in my warm pj's and slippers drinking hot chocolate and reading. Now I spend my time drinking coco while making fun of the local news and the people that buy the grocery stores out of supplies to stock up for the 2 days that there will be ice on the ground.

For some reason this arctic blast ritual got me into the spirit a bit so we now have lights in our bushes and on one tree. Weee! Also, even though I'm not a very religious person it suddenly feels really cool to be so big and pregnant during the Christmas season. I keep having fantasies of going into labor on Christmas Eve.

I think I'll go pack my hospital bag just in case. Now please enjoy these photos of our version of winter weather.

Week 35

2005-12-11T17:10:00.000-06:00

Week 35
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

He's nearly there! Most 35-week babies weigh 5 pounds or more and rarely experience major complications if born before they officially come to term. You may feel a tingling or numbness in your pelvic region as the extra weight presses on your nerves, as well as increased movement in your upper rib cage where her feet have come to rest in preparation for the head-down journey into the world. Three to four percent of full-term babies never adopt this position, but remain breech (with their heads facing up). If your baby is part of this stubborn minority, you may be at greater risk for a cesarean section. To prevent this, your caregiver may attempt to turn her from the outside using a process called "external version." He'll also do a sonogram to determine the baby's exact position before deciding whether to attempt a vaginal birth.

Holy Hormones Batman

2005-12-06T23:03:00.000-06:00

I think that I've handled these pregnancy hormones pretty well in the past few months. In fact other than 2 incidences I can think of I've kept my wits about me entirely. I've worked really hard at recognizing when it's the hormones talking and keeping the lid on it. The past week however, things have been a bit less shall we say lidded. Things that used to make me laugh are starting to piss me off. Tonight we were at the grocery store in a mad search for faucet covers to prepare for the "arctic freeze" that all of the weather people are getting hard just talking about. Kent was walking at his normal pace which on a non-pregnant day I can have a hard time keeping up with. Tonight was especially difficult as my hip joints are determined to cripple me before this pregnancy is over. I think that steam started coming out of my facial orifices I was so annoyed. Then just as fast as it had come on, the she-devil in me was gone and I was perfectly fine.

I have a baby shower coming up in a few weeks so I was re-visiting the online registry tonight with Kent's help to make sure we had everything we wanted on there. He mentioned that we didn't have many clothes so we started looking for some. Did you know that it's impossible to find anything but short sleeved plain white onesies at Baby’s-R-Us? I almost threw the computer out the window. Then Kent casually observed that we don't really have any warm hanging-around-the-house clothes for the baby. I think I said something to the effect of "well you register for everything next time then motherfucker" then I gimped my way into the baby's room and started bawling because he was clearly going to freeze to death, while I looked for any warm clothes we might have gotten for him. Thank goodness I have a husband with enough innate kindness and common sense to come hug me and reassure me even though I'd just bitten his head off.

Also? This week I have faced reality and purchased Tucks medicated pads. I almost made it all the way through without needing them and frankly I'm pissed that it had to happen at all. It can't help that I'm not getting much good sleep. You know that pain you get in your hips when you sleep on the floor or ground when you camp? I get that every single night. In bed. It's so bad that it wakes me up and I have to turn over every 45 minutes to relieve it a bit. Around 4 every morning I've exhausted my hips so much that no amount of turning brings relief.

Up until recently I've been so happy that I was pregnant that any of these things felt like minor inconveniences. Now I'm so fed up that every little thing feels like a major challenge. I'm still happy and excited about being a mom I just don't understand why it takes being so freaking miserable to get a baby good and cooked.

Relief, Reticence And Hopefully Reward

2005-12-06T09:46:00.000-06:00

I did it. Yesterday afternoon I gave my notice and December will by my last month to draw an income. I am at once terrified and exhilarated; excited and reticent. The moment I hit send on that email (yes I broke up with work via email) I felt the universe open up a million possibilities for me. I know how new agey that sounds but it's honestly how I felt.

I learned so much from my boss there over the last few years. He and his wife really took me under their wings. I had permission to learn from my mistakes. Lately the lessons have been much more internal. It's been clear for a while that it's time for me to move on. I hadn't done so mostly out of fear of the unknown (which is totally out of character for me by the way).

Right now my job is to prepare for the shrimps arrival. What happens after that is anyone’s guess. I'm excited to move on to the next challenge; the new lessons I'm supposed to learn in this lifetime. Today I'm working on trusting that the universe will provide an enjoyable way for me to make the extra money we'll undoubtedly need. I just need to open my eyes to all of those new possibilities. I can feel it.

Shrimp Week #34

2005-12-03T16:42:00.000-06:00

Week 34
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Your Baby
Exactly how would you like your child to enter the world? An increasing number of parents-to-be are creating birth plans. These documents may include everything from medical preferences to environmental concerns (low lighting, soft music, and so on) during labor, delivery, and postpartum. Try to keep the plan to one page or less--busy caregivers may not have time to read it otherwise--and give copies to your doctor or midwife and to hospital or birthing center staff as well. Keep in mind, however, that medical necessity may derail some of your preferences
------------------
Miracle of miracles, I can BREATH! Of course now I have to pee every five seconds. But what a small price to pay for adequate oxygen. I've also been having some Braxton Hicks contractions here and there. Nothing so painful that I have to stop what I'm doing but pretty uncomfortable though that's for sure. Today in the mall it felt like someone was poking me with a butter knife in my lower abdomen. It made me wonder if the shrimp had snuck one in there and was already punishing me for taking him shopping. We meet with the pediatrician next week. Then the week after that begins my weekly ob/gyn appointment phase. I can't believe it's this freakin close.

Does This Mean He's Done?

2005-12-01T12:21:00.000-06:00

Pop
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Look what happened overnight last night. No wonder I couldn't sleep.

The Night Life Ain't No Good Life

2005-11-29T15:42:00.000-06:00

The other night Kent and I were lying in bed talking and the subject somehow turned to all of the crazy people and things that happened during our loft living days. We ended up laughing our asses off and thanking our stars that we got out of there with nothing but a bit of liver damage. The building itself was art and there was an art gallery in the lobby where they would host exhibits and hold receptions for the artists. It was a lovely place to live. Some of the people who lived there were crazy though. Here are just a few things that happened:

1. Our next door neighbor got kicked out of the building after he was caught on the security camera getting a blow job from a transvestite stripper after a party in our shared garage. (He was the one who told us this by the way). He ended up moving home to Arkansas to live with his father instead of having his father visit his cool new place as they had planned.

2. Our new next door neighbor's ex girlfriend went into a rage and set his car on fire in our shared garage. The blaze was big enough to set off the sprinkler system in our place and charred his car down to the metal. Somehow my jeep which was parked right across the garage was stinky but unhurt. The cops and fireman were there for 3 hours trying to put the thing out.

3. We moved units after that and were woken up in the middle of the night by a blood curdling scream coming from next door. There was horrible shouting and a barking dog. The woman was yelling please don't kill me. We called the cops but of course she didn't press charges and we heard many more scuffles after that one.

4. The very snooty, very respected heir to the Pillsbury fortune lived on the third floor. He was notorious for not speaking to anyone in the halls or elevator and always had his mistress with him when his lovely French wife was out of town. He swerved his BMW into the parking lot one night so drunk that he literally whipped it out and pissed right there next to his car. Then he barely made it to the elevator without falling. I wish I could give you a better visual, but the guy wasn't young. He was my mom's age pissing in the middle of the parking lot where anyone looking out their window could see.

5. One night some guy asked Kent if he had a tool they needed to take apart some furniture because he was helping someone move out of the building. Kent said yes and went to help and I went up to our loft. He had been gone for quite a while so I went to check on him and walked into the unit they were moving. As I walked into the hall I walked right past 4 huge black guns leaning against the wall. We both got the hell out as fast as we could. Kent said later that they were AK47s and when the guy noticed Kent looking at them, he gave him a look of warning and moved them into the hall. Fucking scary shit.

Booby Day

2005-11-28T16:28:00.000-06:00

I just realized that it's the 29th tomorrow. What is so special about the 29th you ask? Well, that is the day that the Shrimp's Fairy Godmother gets her new boobs! Yay for the miracle that is reconstruction. I know she's documenting this newest chapter in her cancer experience as she has been the entire ordeal. One day I fully expect you'll read her resulting book which will no doubt be a best seller. Maybe I can get her to give us a sneak preview on this here blog some day soon. Congratulations on your new girls Trina!

Shrimp Week #33

2005-11-28T15:34:00.000-06:00

Week 33
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Starting at about week 26, your baby has slept and awoken at regular intervals. He closes his eyes when he sleeps, and he'll even dream during the last month before birth. No one knows what babies dream about in the womb, but they show reactions ranging from frowns and smiles to crying and kicking. Asleep or awake, you may feel the kicks in a new place around now--in your rib cage, just below your breasts--as he moves into the head-down position where he'll probably stay until birth.

In other news:
I hope no one was alarmed by the lack of posting and lack of a countdown at the top of my page. We had a house full of people starting Wednesday night and my brother just left around 9 last night so I've been a busy girl and didn't even get on the internet for those days (gasp). Don't know what the hell happened to the tickerfactory, I'll have to go hunting for another one. All is well here, the baby is kicking and making me pee a tablespoon every five seconds. We put the car seat in the car yesterday so all that is left to do now is pack the hospital bag which I refuse to do until we get closer. Tick tock people!

Black And White In Technicolor

2005-11-22T08:17:00.000-06:00

Ross
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Mourning for Someone I Didn't Even Know

2005-11-21T12:13:00.000-06:00

I started listening to the Glenn Mitchell show in college 10 years ago. Since then don't think I've missed more than 10 shows. It was something I looked forward to every single day. His death was sudden and will leave a hole in my life even though I didn't know him at all.

Shrimp Week #32

2005-11-20T17:22:00.000-06:00

(go to flickr to see the stretch marked bare belly version of this weeks pic) This week is a milestone of sorts: Babies born after this time tend to do well even if they are premature. Nearly 10 percent of babies are born before week 37, when they officially come to term. At 32 weeks, all major organs are functioning except the lungs, which may need further time to develop. But your little one doesn't exactly look like a rosy cherub--he weighs about 3 pounds, and his thin, wrinkly skin hasn't filled out with the layers of fat that develop later. Luckily, in many cases, all he'll need is some time in an environmentally controlled isolette to become the chubby angel you imagined.
-------------------------------
These last couple of weeks have been quite a remarkable time for my pelvic region. The shrimps head is grinding away on my pubic bone every time I stand up. My very lower back is achy all the time and my days of walking like a normal person are officially behind me. In Wall-Mart this afternoon I practically cleared the isles just by walking (read swaying) down them. My hips feel like they're going to pop out twice a day. Finding a comfortable sleeping position is next to impossible. Thank goodness I no longer have to climb in and out of my Jeep every day.

Sue B. Forrester

2005-11-20T17:09:00.000-06:00

Sue
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Yes, I am one of those people who name their cars. I blame it on CanaMa.

No longer do I have to lay (lie?) awake at night crunching numbers in my head. No longer do I have to weigh the pros and cons of this or that car. No longer do I have to sweat what the dealer will give me for my trade in with one window.

Since we started looking for a new car we've both really wanted a Forrester. But we didn't think we could afford one. Luckily we were able to find a used one in our price range. I didn't even change the oil or clean my Jeep before we took it in and they paid it off people. They paid it off!

The whole process was relatively painless and has me wondering why we waited so long to do this. The only crap part was seeing my credit score which is abysmal thanks to the student loan fiasco (and a couple of blemishes which are totally my fault).

Still it's a small price to pay for the weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders.

We got exactly what we wanted.

Wish Me Luck

2005-11-19T11:59:00.000-06:00

Today we're going to buy a family car (hopefully anyway). I. Am. Not. Looking. Forward. To. This. Wish me luck.

Passing the Time Until D(ue)-day

2005-11-16T11:45:00.000-06:00

This morning after our Doc appointment (gained two pounds, the shrimp sounds great), Kent and I went up to the third floor to labor and delivery. I wanted to ask about taking a tour and pre-registering for delivery. The benefit of going up there is, of course, that you get to see the newborns in the nursery. It was a totally different feeling than I had a few weeks ago when I was there. At that time all I could think about was how big they looked and how the hell I was supposed to push one of those out. Today I wanted to weep from the beauty of those little creatures. We walked out of there with big goofy smiles on our faces.

My days are starting to feel completely irrelevant except for the fact that they get us closer to Ellis's arrival. I'm sleepwalking through work, dinner, life, just daydreaming about meeting him for the first time. There is a constant nagging feeling of anticipation. I wish I could shake it because I want to treasure each moment of being pregnant too. Even the whiplash inducing mood swings I've started having this week will be a lovely memory soon.

It's hard to think about anything but seeing his face. I'm convinced he's going to arrive early even though I have no reason to think so. My brother and I were both late, and the due date means a whole lot of nothing. I know that. I just can't stand the thought of having to wait any longer than is absolutely necessary.

Do you hear that Ellis? You're to be finished cooking by December 30th. I'm sure you're willing to oblige your poor mother, right?

Ready, Set, Nursery

2005-11-14T14:09:00.000-06:00

Last night I cleaned out all of the trash that had piled up in the nursery and Kent stapled any falling wires to the wall so the shrimp can't get tangled. The only thing missing is the crib bedding we registered for. It has quite a bit of green in addition to blue which is why we got the green rug. If you're wondering what's what just head over to flickr and check out the notes. So picture the bedding when you look at these:

Shrimp Week #31

2005-11-13T19:00:00.000-06:00

Week 31
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

He's entering a growth spurt. For the next eight weeks, he'll gain weight faster than he increases in length, at the rate of about half a pound a week. The bigger he gets, the harder it will be to "see" him on ultrasound and get a good estimate of his size--the margin of error increases to 15 percent by the end of the third trimester. But he's definitely growing fast, and you'll notice that his kicks will start to feel more like squirming as he runs out of room to roam.

Secret Lovahs

2005-11-11T15:35:00.000-06:00

IMGP2038
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

I just walked in the living room to find these two just inches away from each other and both asleep. They may talk a big game with Tucker all "I'm a cat I hate you filthy mut" and Chloe all "I'm a dog I must chase you around the house repeatedly until you swat my face". But deep down, they love each other.

Introducing BetaEllis

2005-11-09T15:35:00.000-06:00

One of the things Kent and I have been a little concerned about is how the dauggers will behave around the baby. They are both very sweet and well behaved (for the most part) dogs so we're not talking about jealous aggressiveness but loving aggressiveness could be a problem.

When they like someone, they really try to let them know. Chloe jumps to try to reach your face and give you a big 'ol kiss, and Bella dog licks and steps all over your feet. When you're sitting down Bella dog likes to stand in your lap (all 65 pounds of her) and put her face right up to yours and just smile at you or if she wants to play she brings the toy right up to your face in the same manner. That's great and fun and we love it when she does that but it's not going to be a good thing when one of us is holding the baby. She's heavy and clumsy and one mis-step could be really painful for the little guy. She has never stepped hard on her sister even when they're playing rough so the concern is probably completely unfounded. Even so we've been wondering what to do about it.

This week a package arrived from CanaMa to help us with our problem. All of the baby books and dog books recommend this technique so we're going with it.

Introducing BetaEllis:
Tripping out over the mobile

Getting to know his big sister Chloe

Kickin it con mami

The minute I introduced BetaEllis to the girls they knew he was something to be gentle with. They both love helping me put him down for his nap, and are fascinated with diaper changes. Bella hasn't grabbed one yet but I'm sure that's coming. It's a little slower going on the couch-Bella dog-in-lap situation, but we're already making progress. Of course it's a lot easier with Kent home to help. A fact that I'm sure that will become even more crystal clear with FinalProductEllis. In the mean time it's nice to be able to practice with BetaEllis. Thanks CanaMa!!

I Just Knocked Over A Glass Of Water With My Belly

2005-11-07T15:23:00.000-06:00

Which has nothing to do with the rest of this post, I just thought I'd share. It's just that big.
Remember this hideousness? The wall paper that made me want to poke my eyes out every time I walked into the kitchen? It's gone! And I didn't have to do shit.
It now looks like this. The calming effect of the blue is really amazing to me. I never realized quite how jittery the other stuff made me feel until it was gone. I feel like I'm in Cuba or somewhere tropical. All that's left to be done are a few touch ups and I can mark this one off my List Of Things Which Must Be Accomplished Before the Baby Because They Will Never Get Done After He's Here.

Shrimp Week #30

2005-11-05T16:17:00.000-06:00

Week 30
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

By this week, your baby's senses are developed to the point where he can taste, touch, see, and hear what's going on around him. He'll also react to stimuli--for instance, if you poke your belly, he may kick or hit back at the spot you've touched. It's exciting to interact with your baby even before he's born. Try rubbing your belly and talking gently to him when he kicks--you may find that you're already able to calm him down.

It's Like Waiting For Santa

2005-11-04T16:39:00.000-06:00

I am now officially counting hours instead of days until Kent gets home. He should be here (earlier than planned) late tomorrow night. Thank the gods!

Let "Freedom" Ring

2005-11-03T11:16:00.000-06:00

Stepping onto my soap box now:

"In Congress, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

...We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the consent of the governed, -- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness..."

This is what we sell when we "spread" democracy on other people. We tout the separation of church and state, the benefit of a secular government. Yet we have a shitty record of upholding the words of our own constitution. "That all men are created equal"; they obviously didn't mean to include women in that statement. Women shouldn't have rights! Our society would fall apart if we allowed women to vote! And black people? Please. They are not even human beings. How could we possibly include them in our democratic processes? It says right there in the bible that women and black people are not equal to white males. We can't go against GOD.

Oh, and gay people? They're sinners. They're going to hell for loving one other. How can we allow them the same rights as straight people for Gods sake? If we allow them to file some paper work that says they are legally married our entire society will crumble. I'll have to shield my child’s eyes from expressions of love, like a same sex couple holding hands in public. We'll let them fight for "freedom" sure as long as they don't tell us they're gay. Those pansies won't make it out anyway and we could use the bodies. We all know that those gays don't have those "certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness". So instead of voting to secure the rights of men lets all take a vote to make sure that some men and women don't have rights at all. Let’s take away equality under the law. That just makes sense.

Seriously, I ache when I think about all of the pain a judgmental "Christianity"* based "you’re with us or against us" mentality has caused people in this country. Even if you believe that homosexuality is a sin, how do you make the leap to the idea that governmentally forcing your beliefs on other people is a good thing? How can people truly believe that loving someone who happens to have the same anatomy as you, will corrupt our children? I will not ever understand it.

Today I'm voting not to pass an amendment that would ban same sex couples from being allowed to legally join in marriage. It will be an exercise in futility here in Texas. I can only hope that by the time my son is my age he will look back in disbelief that people felt this way. I hope it will be a bad memory that this country once again tried to take away peoples rights to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Stepping off the soap box.
*Christianity is in quotes because the word as it is used to intimidate, and legislate is not a true representation of that religion. WWJD? I'm thinkin' he wouldn't judge. So there.

Random Much?

2005-11-02T17:55:00.000-06:00

I've been kind of a comment slacker lately. I've actually been working full time the past couple of weeks so there's less time to think of stuff to say in comments. But I've been reading you all and I promise to be better about comments next week.

Today I hit the wall. I've turned into one big sniveling ball of missing my husband, and boy do I feel pathetic. I've talked to him every day but man I miss his face. I think I can attribute this wall hittage to having to go to my ob appointment today alone. It was pretty uneventful. The shrimp's heart sounds good, my blood pressure is excellent and I've lost a few pounds since my last visit (which I've been assured is nothing to worry about since the shrimp is still dancing in my belly like a disco prince). The stupid nurse fucked up and said my weight out loud even though I've told her I don't want to know. I know it's just a number but sweet lord that's a high number. From that number I have about 60 pounds to lose AFTER the baby weight to get down to where I want to be. I don't know exactly how many I've put on since I got pregnant, but I really don't want to know because then I'll have to face the number I started with. Fuck. Weight sucks my ass. The good news is that I don't have to worry about it for another two months or so. My next appointment is in two weeks. We're in the bi-monthly appointment phase people, that's close.

My dad still has not apologized about last weekend, or even mentioned it. However he's insisting on coming by to help me paint the kitchen this week. I guess it's his way of making it up to me. Which it totally doesn't, but at least he's trying and I'll get a painted kitchen out of it.

Shrimp Week #29 Behold My Concentration Face

2005-11-01T19:40:00.000-06:00

For the past six weeks or so, your baby has been listening to your voice (along with the voices of your partner, older children, and anyone else who's been talking to your belly). Speaking to your baby is not only a key part of prenatal bonding, but may also form the basis of language development. Babies who have been spoken to in utero recognize and turn to familiar voices immediately after birth. There may also be links between prenatal stimulation and the development of speech and IQ. Conversely, studies have shown that songbirds hatched from the nests of silent foster parents don't sing.

Nashville Smashville

2005-11-01T17:25:00.000-06:00

Ah Nashville, the trees, the hills, the constantly talking about being pregnant with someone who KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! I had so much fun hanging out with Drew. Look, it's Drew! I got to help her register for baby stuff, and watch chick flicks, and eat, eat, eat. I can't believe it had been so long since I've seen her. It felt like no time had passed at all. She has the cutest little bump I ever did see. She's always been a little thing so I'm totally jealous of how cute she still looks.

I got to visit with GiGi her kitty and meet Venga her newest addition.

Oh, and her husband too. Hopefully I'll see her again in April after she has her little boy or girl. (Now I'm calling it shim, since she doesn't know). Drew is a chiropractor so she's always current on natural remedies and alternative medicines. So I not olny got to hang out with a great friend, I also learned a ton.

Look, it's the controversial nekkid statue. Nope, I'm not sure why they're all so happy that they're about to fall off the hill. Thanks for showing me the sights you guys! Can't wait to see you again.

It's the Country Music Capital Ya'll

2005-10-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

Tonight I'm flying to Nashville to see my long lost pregnant soul sistah Drew! I'm so excited to see her and her belly I can hardly stand it. I'm sure there will be lots of food and non-alcoholic fun to be had. Preferably with some Dolly Parton thrown in there somewhere. Pictures on Monday!

Tonight Kent leaves for a 10 day biking trip to Moab, UT with the guys, or as I like to call them wives #2-4. I'm so glad he's getting to do this trip, but I HATE it when he's gone this long. Usually I pass the time in drunken debauchery but this time I'll have to be a bit more creative.

In other news, the nursery is almost finished! The only things left are bedding and changing table pads and stuff like that. It feels so good. Thanks again to all of you for your advice. I've printed out all the comments and I'm keeping them handy!

Ya'll have a good weekend now ya hear.

Thanks Footballers Wives

2005-10-26T15:30:00.000-05:00

Now I'm worried that the shrimp will be a hermaphrodite. I really love that show.

Will I Ever Think About Anything Else Again? I'm Starting To Bore Myself

2005-10-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

Good lord I'm tired. Like first trimester tired. Is it wrong I'm hoping to welcome the shrimp a couple of weeks early? I mean, as long as he's ready I think 38 weeks is an excellent time to make an arrival. Last weekend I had my husband all to myself for the first time in, well I can't remember when the last time was. It was amazingly wonderful! I even got him to help come up me with a budget and put our new bassinet/co sleeper together.

The budgeting was quite informative and has me thinking even more about ways we can cut back so that I can quit that god forsaken job of mine. Many of which I won't bore you with here (I'm boring myself just thinking about all of this shit). But I do have some baby gear questions for you moms. (This means you too, people who never comment but have young babies!!)

1. Anyone know anything about cloth vs. disposable diapers (like, are they cheaper and if they are are they worth the hastle)
2. I purchased this because it looks really snuggly for the baby. But it got here and WTF? It's just one big long piece of fabric. You have to watch a fucking instructional video to learn how to wrap it right. Will I learn to do it quickly enough or should I get something else? Any suggestions?
3. We have a crib, the bassinet/co sleeper thingy, travel system (car seat and stroller), a weeks worth of onesies, a big box of newborn diapers, a baby bathtub, and three bottles. Can anyone think of anything else that we need to get before the baby comes? I just have no clue what is really helpful and what is a waste of money.

And now for the best part, on Saturday Osh Kosh was having going out of business sale so we got this outfit for the shrimp. He's going to look just like his daddy!

Shrimp Week #28 (Notice the SWEATER!!!)

2005-10-23T20:52:00.000-05:00

28 Weeks
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

With his eyesight maturing, your baby can actually see light through the womb and will even turn toward a light now. You may start experiencing more uncomfortable symptoms, like restless legs that make it hard to sleep at night. Soon you'll see why it's all worth it, though! And if you haven't already, it's time to nail down your maternity leave plans. (insert bitter laughter here)

Never Say Never

2005-10-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

A couple years ago I was out with my friend who has a son. I was asking her all those annoying questions that childless women ask those who have done it and she offered up this advice.

"Time it so that you're not pregnant much when it's hot out. I remember being so hot I was sitting around my house all day in just a bra and panties."

This horrified me. Sitting around with your huge pregnant body hanging out everywhere? I would NEVER do that, never, never, never.

Yeah. Never say never.

Tucker Hides From The Dauggers

2005-10-19T17:23:00.000-05:00

Tucker
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Look at the "travel system" my mom got us all the way from Canada! Tucker really likes the storage thingy under there.

I'm It

2005-10-19T10:50:00.000-05:00

Can I just say, I love being tagged? Thanks MissuzJ!

10 years ago: I was a senior in high school, listening to Alanis and Bush as loud as possible in my '88 Mazda 323. I went to school half days and worked half days at a huge telecommunications company. It was fun. I was in year number 3 with the 'why did I waste so much time on him whiny loser idiot'. I think that was the year he broke his toe when he kicked a chair because he was so mad at me for not looking at him the right way. Good times.

5 years ago: Kent and I were looking around for our first place together, we'd been together for almost a year. We moved into the lofts in January right after our 1 year dating anniversary. I was working for the Nazi's, I mean, Texas Instruments who fired me shortly thereafter for refusing to remove my nose ring that they hadn't even noticed for the first few months I had it.

1 year ago: One year ago I had been married for one year! Kent was camping in Moab after moving his trip so that we could both participate in our friends' wedding. Half of the couple (hi Larry!) was living at our house in the guest room with his lovely bride soon to follow. We were having a difficult time adjusting to the costs of homeownership while also shelling out for exta stuff, but we got through it. I was busy, busy, busy, helping to tie up all the wedding loose ends. Their anniversary is October 30th. Happy almost anniversary guys!

5 snacks: Jello pudding, popcorn, Klondike Reeces, string cheese, french fries

5 songs I know all the words to: Glycerine (Bush), American Pie (Don McLean), Baby Beluga (Raffi), Firecracker (Lisa Loeb), Born on the Bayou (CCR)

5 things with 100 mil: Move to Vancouver, pay for my brother's school, open a bike shop for Kent, sock half away for the shrimp and his future sibling(s), buy my dream car a Volvo station wagon (yes that's my dream car bitches)

5 things I'd never wear: a side ponytail, high wasted tapered jeans, a muumuu, a mullet, theme sweaters especially those with little animals sewn on.

5 favorite tv shows: The X-Files, Lost, Footballers Wives, The Office (original AND the US version), Buffy

5 (and 1/2) biggest joys: This is going to be boring but true; Kent, Chloe, Bella, Tucker, Ross, and the Shrimp

5 favorite toys: my camera, the internet, the daugger's tennis ball, Super Mario Brothers 3, new make up

If you haven't done this yet and you have a blog, consider yourself tagged.

2nd anninversary

2005-10-18T19:56:00.000-05:00

2nd anninversary
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Two Years And Counting

2005-10-18T09:38:00.000-05:00

When Kent and I started dating we were in a party phase. I had played by the rules my entire life and I was sick of it. I was ready to let loose, be crazy, have some freakin fun already and see if it suited me. He was still in his I'm divorced and now I'm going to show everyone how OK I am with that by going out all the time phase. (He had been divorced for several years already when we met.) We were well suited; for the short term. Neither of us was thinking about anything more than next week. That didn't last long. I think I've said before here that I knew I wanted to marry Kent within a couple of months of dating him. At that time, he felt the same way. For about a week. Then the fear crept in. Thus began a 4 year long dance between the fear and our relationship.

I could go on for days about how this push and pull manifested itself in our relationship. It wasn't something we talked about very often, but it was there. In every fight, in every happy moment, it was there. Sometimes it was dealt with head on. Those were the scary, horrid, no solution to our problem talks we both hated. I wanted to get married, he didn't ever again. Where do you go from there? We always ended those talks with the feeling that above anything else, we didn't want to be apart from each other. I can't explain why we stuck it out really. I just had faith in my heart and in my gut. I knew what an amazing man he was and knew that whatever was meant to happen would happen as long as we were honest with ourselves and each other.

I say all of this by way of explaining what a huge thing it was for him to marry me two years ago today. When he slipped that ring on my finger, he was a changed man and I was a changed woman. All of the fear that had hung over us for so long really truly disappeared that night on the beach. In fact, Kent told me later that he was excruciatingly nervous until the moment that he saw me. At that moment he felt a calm and a peace come over him. That night at sunset we promised to love each other, to live together, to grow old and change together, and to each do our damndest to keep our relationship alive with possibilities. I had no idea it would be so easy.

I didn't expected Kent to change when I married him. But honestly as my husband he has surpassed even my highest hopes. He was always loving and generous and kind but now he is even more so. I wrote down in my journal things that I never want to forget from that day:
1. Kent telling me I look "stunning"
2. The feeling of peace and security we both felt after the ceremony
3. Kent spread pink rose petals on the bed for our wedding night
4. The incredible red moon over the ocean
The rose petals are particularly significant to me. Our wedding was very low key. I went barefoot for God sakes. I didn't choose a bouquet months in advance because they're just flowers and I didn't even really think about the bouquet because I didn't know what I would be drawn to on that day anyway. So on the day of the wedding my mom and I went to the store and chose some pink roses. The same pink roses that Kent chose to spread on our bed when he went to the same store within the same hour we had been there. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other all day. That's pretty symbolic of how our marriage has gone since that day.

Baby, I am so incredibly lucky to have you as my husband. You keep me on my toes. You listen to my needs. You take into account my feelings. You make time for me when I need it. You make me caramel popcorn. You put up with me when I get crazy. You watch foreign movies. You have an open mind. You take my frantic tech support calls even when you're busy at work. You sacrificed being with me on our first anniversary so that you could participate in my friend's wedding. You watch public television while I sleep with my head in your lap. You tell me and show me you love me every single day. You're creative. You are everything I ever wanted and more.

I know that we probably won't always have it this easy. Who knows what our future holds. But Kent, there's no one I'd rather be on this ride with. I love you baby. Happy Anniversary two years and counting.

Shrimp Week #27

2005-10-17T17:23:00.000-05:00

Your frisky fetus is on another growth spurt, shooting up half an inch this week to measure about 14 inches from head to toe. He weighs roughly 2 1/2 pounds, and will gain approximately half a pound each week for the next 10 weeks. The average full-term baby weighs about 7 1/2 pounds and measures from 18 to 20 1/2 inches, but many normal, healthy babies fall outside this range. Unless your practitioner has told you of a potential problem, it's safe to assume that your little one is right on track.

And on a personal note; maternity underwear bloody ROCK MY WORLD.

I Think My Subconscious Is Trying To Tell Me Something

2005-10-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream that Kent and I went to a video store to rent something. While he was checking out I went to the quite sizeable porn section to look for a video and spent so long looking that he had to come find me. I kept refusing to leave so he had to literally pick me up and carry me out of the store telling me we weren't going to buy porn today.

Thinking Out Loud and Possibly Boring the Shit Out of You

2005-10-14T15:17:00.001-05:00

I've spent the entire week steaming about work and money and how to cut back so that we can get by on one salary so that I'm not a ball of work related anger or frustration every day. I think if I try to do the work I'm doing now on top of caring for the shrimp and our 5 other mostly helpless living creatures I might just go clinically insane. As much as I want it solved like, now, there is really no way to know if we can do it until we try. I've been reading "I Don't Know How She Does It" about a working mom who feels desperately torn between her home life and her work life both of which she loves equally. It makes me feel lucky that I don't have that attachment to my work life right now. I'm glad I'll (hopefully) have some time to re-assess what I want out of a job before having to return to one. My only dilemma is how to afford to be out of a job. I'd say that's a pretty good dilemma to have.

We're still thinking of cutting down to one car, and I think I'm going to cut our cable back to only local channels. We got rid of the movie channels about a year ago and haven't missed them at all. But, no TLC? I'm not sure if I can handle that.

I'm acutely aware that Kent will feel more pressure if I'm not bringing in any money at all. I hate that. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he has no options when it comes to work. We decided together that one of us staying home is our ideal, and I know he feels good about the decision. It's just hard for me to watch him have disagreements, or issues at work and know that he feels a bit stuck as he's the primary (and maybe soon, the only) breadwinner. I feel guilty for even trying to make it so that I can quit while he's dealing with similar work stress and doesn't really have the option to quit without another job lined up.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the last trimester of our first pregnancy. In these last months we have so many decisions to make, and things to take care of, and good lord things to buy. I have a feeling it's going to fly by. I'm both happy and sad about that. Maybe some things will just have to be left up on the air for us to figure out as we go along. Kind of like caring for a baby for the first time. I think I'm OK with that.

Does anyone know how long is standard for maternity leave? I've read 12 weeks, but my company is only offering me 6 (unpaid of course). They're really small so maybe they can do that. Just wondering.

I Heart Halloween Candy

2005-10-12T16:30:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd be proactive and buy some candy early since I was at the store and it was on sale. I bought one bag of Milky Way minis, one bag of 3 Musketeers minis, and one mixed bag of all kinds of crap. It took Kent and me exactly 4 days to go through the chocolate and we're currently halfway through the bag 'o crap. Which is why I was shocked, shocked I tell you when I was weighed at the doctor today. I've only gained 1/2 a pound in three weeks. It was the second time in a week I've wanted to kiss a nurse on the lips. The shrimp is doing great too. But come on a 1/2 pound! It's like puberty except then everything I ate went to my boobs. It's going to really suck going back to not being able to eat anything. Until then, bring on the Milky Ways.

This Weekend's Theme: Splat

2005-10-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

This weekend, we broadened our social circle. And it was painful. On Saturday our next door neighbor came over to ask us to a poker game. We've spoken to them more than anyone else in the neighborhood. This amounts to around 5 times in the last year and a half. It's to Kent's credit that he makes me go to these things because although we always have fun the thought of meeting a house full of new people makes my palms sweat and gives me the immediate impulse to crawl into a corner in the fetal position for the rest of the night rocking myself. I wish I were exaggerating.

We went, we ate, we watched all of the kids run amuck which is still rather like watching a National Geographic profile of some strange and far away tribe. There were about 10 of them, all elementary and middle school aged. I wanted to take notes right there on the poker table.

All of the couples were at least 10 years older than me which was weird. It was like playing poker with my parents. Well, a younger version of them anyway. They kept the radio on a light rock station for the entire night and kept saying things like "I played this song at my sweet 16". And trust me, they weren't talking about Nirvana. So it was a bit surreal in that regard but everyone was very, very warm and friendly and we had a good time.

At one point during the night one of the women got up to get a cream puff (yes, they had freaking cream puffs at poker). As she was taking her first step she caught her foot on the folding chair and went splat on the floor. We all just kind of sat frozen for a couple of seconds waiting for her to move, then when we saw that she was OK we could not stop laughing. Poor woman couldn't live it down for the rest of the night. Everyone just kept saying they were glad it wasn't me, the preggo, who fell.

Sunday was our friends son's (English teachers are instructed to ignore my horrendous use of the possessive.) 1st birthday party. We gave Kent's friend a ride to the party as well and on the way there we were telling him all about the night before and how funny it was when that woman ate shit. When we arrived I opened the Jeep door and put one foot down on the ground thinking that it would be safer than the curb, lest I slip off. What I failed to take into account was the fallen leaves in the street were slippery. My foot slipped on the leaves before the other leg made it all the way out of the car and I went splat. On my belly. On our baby.

I don't even remember falling. I just remember coming to my senses on my right side and assessing any damage. It didn't hurt when I hit my tummy. In fact, my belly felt fine. The only thing that hurt at all was my arm which I scraped on the way down. Because nothing hurt it took a couple of minutes for the panic to set in. Kent was at my side in .2 seconds and I was able to tell him that I fell on the baby and we needed to go to the hospital to make sure he was OK before I lost my shit.

Then, the white noise of panic entered my head and I couldn't think anymore. I was just trying to concentrate on feeling our baby move. Which he wasn't. By the time they made me get into the wheelchair to take me to labor and delivery my mind was shutting down completely. The first thing they asked is if the baby was moving and I had to tell them no. I went from being scared to just completely unable to deal with the possibility that he might not be OK. It's an over used phrase but I can honestly say I have never been so scared in my entire life.

They made me undress, put on a hospital gown and get into one of the beds all while asking me 3 million different ways how I fell. I know they were screening for abuse but good lord I just wanted to scream "MY HUSBAND DIDN'T DO THIS LEAVE HIM ALONE HE'S SCARED TO DEATH TOO."

I was, in my daze, just following the nurses orders. Kent thank God had the presence of mind to ask her if she could please try to get a heartbeat right away so that we could stop panicking. She promptly strapped me to the fetal monitor and for what felt like an hour, said nothing. We heard nothing. I felt nothing. Finally Kent asked if there was one and she was like "Oh, yeah, it's right there. Let me turn the volume up so you can hear it."

I wanted to kiss her and smack her all at the same time.

Once she strapped the monitors around my belly, the shrimp got annoyed and started trying to kick them right off. We were both monitored for an hour just to be sure everything looked good. So for an entire hour we got to listen to his heartbeat get louder and fainter as he swam closer and farther from the monitor. The best part was hearing him kick me at the same time I felt it. He was trying so hard to get those straps off that my stomach kept jumping. He was perfectly fine.

Being that frightened is exhausting. I don't think I've really fully recovered from the stress of it yet. Today my arm is very sore and my knee is as well so I'm pretty sure they got the worst of the impact. I'm a klutz even without this big belly throwing off my balance and after yesterday I'm scared to leave the house by myself. Everything looks like a danger. I want to burn my car (or at least get rid of it). But we can't afford to get a new one yet so it looks like I'll have to get over it. The most important thing is that our little man is OK. He's been letting me know all day how unhappy with me he is for the jolt.

In the end I learned a valuable lesson from all of this: Don't laugh at people when they fall even if it's really funny because Karma, she's a fucking bitch.

Shrimp Week #26

2005-10-08T12:25:00.000-05:00

Your Baby
There's an important development in your baby's lungs this week: They begin to secrete surfactant, a fatty substance that covers the inner lining of the air sacs and allows the lungs to expand normally so breathing can occur. Although it will be approximately 10 more weeks before the lungs are fully operational, the production of surfactant is an essential step in making the fetus viable outside the womb.

Shrimpy Shoes

2005-10-06T18:41:00.000-05:00

Our son's first pair of shoes. Aren't they cool!

Introspection

2005-10-06T17:16:00.000-05:00

Why do I blog? Until last spring I didn't even know what the hell a blog was. One day a link to Dooce showed up on my Yahoo homepage. I have no idea how it got there, but I clicked and I was hooked. I think I devoured her entire archives in two weeks. I laughed out loud. I cried out loud. I began to care about what was happening each new day. I was inspired.

My mom had just moved, and we weren't talking several times a day like we had been. I wanted a way to express my goings on and how I felt about said goings on in a nice easy to read package. For her, and for other family members who I rarely get to see but wanted to get to know. Also, everyone knew we were trying to get pregnant and it was easier for me to chronicle that process online where people could check back instead of constantly being asked if we had been successful yet. After a few months I began to realize that it was becoming something different for me. Writing about things helps me work through them. And this is a time in my life I never, never want to lose touch with. I am a really happy girl!

I think about my parents and wonder if they had been able to get in touch with the people they had been when they were happy together, if that would have made a difference in their marriage. When Ellis asks what went on the year he was born, if he ever wonders what we looked like when we were young, I want to be able to come to these entries and show him exactly what we were like. Not tell him in some vague terms what I remember myself to have been like once. I wish I had the same sort of record from my grandparents and parents.

At my core, I think I am a communicator. I like sharing things about me and my life. I like the thought that through sharing my life, other people might relate to me. I like that I am honing a writing skill that I have long neglected.

But it's no longer just about those things.

We live in a neighborhood that is very quiet. The kids are older (well, elementary and jr. high age) and we are the only couple without kids (who have already popped out). We're by far the youngest people around here. I don't really fit in with the Bunko crowd, and I'm too old and settled to be interesting to the college kids. So blogging gives me a way to connect with other women in a way that would take months to achieve in the real world. It's a trade off for sure. In many ways we know each other very well and in many ways we're complete strangers. But I always know that if I may need some support I can count on my blog friends.

On another topic altogether. Did you notice the counter at the top of the page? We're starting the 100 day countdown people. In the last week I've become noticeably more uncomfortable. I know it's only going to get worse from here. But! Only 99 more days. I feel I should mention also (since I've bitched so much) that the universe must have heard my desperate cry because it's wonderfully chilly here today (mid 60s). No more 90-100 degree days in sight. It's going to be a good last trimester.

Chloe

2005-10-06T12:39:00.000-05:00

I think she's made out of rubber.

Katie Holmes Is A Genius

2005-10-05T18:04:00.000-05:00

She's going to make more money off of this than she ever would have pimping her own career. Genius I tell you. Oh, and also the visual of them making that baby that will now not leave my head is really, really gross. Although not as gross as the Federline's supposed videotape.

Bibaty Bobaty Boo

2005-10-05T16:17:00.000-05:00

CanaMa first met Ellis's Fairy Godmother Trina around 10 years ago. They were both corporate trainers for different companies (one, obviously Canadian) and they hit it off right away. They shared the same philosophies and sense of humor, and very shortly decided that they were "learning sisters." I met Trina in Monrovia California where she and my mom were collaborating on some training. I think I was 17, and she says I was going through my Goth stage (ha!).

Since then we have gotten to know each other better and better each visit. We connect on a different level than she and CanaMa and tend to roll our eyes at the same things CanaMa does. She's many things that I aspire to be. Driven, intelligent, committed to her work and education, brave, and witty. The day we left, she was running for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. She had mentioned that she was afraid it was going to be really sappy and sad, as it had been last year with people wearing signs declaring for whom they were running, and people who had lost their hair walking around with the pink scarves. She decided that she was going to make her own sign that said she was "Running for my right tit".

She exudes effortlessly all of the values and qualities that Kent and I wish for the shrimp. Everything we hope we can pass along to him just comes right through her with seemingly no effort at all. There was never any question who we would ask to raise him should something happen to us. However, had there been it would have disappeared when we were in Vancouver. Trina thanked us one day for helping her finally understand why she'd been having dreams for weeks about babies and being afraid of not knowing how to care for them. She thought initially it was God's way of telling her that it was a good thing that the chemo denied her the chance of having a child, but now she understood the true meaning behind them. We had decided weeks ago that we would ask her but wanted to wait until we were there to do it in person.

The shrimp wouldn't kick for her the entire week the stubborn little shit. But once he's born I predict that she's the one he'll go to when he's mad at us. She'll be the cool one, the fun one, our second in command. Every child should be so lucky.

Shrimp Week #25

2005-10-04T11:26:00.000-05:00

Your Baby
The fetus weighs in at 1 1/2 to 2 pounds this week, and measures about a foot from head to toe. Though still skinny and wrinkly (skin hangs loosely until the fetus develops more baby fat), she's growing rapidly and starting to fill the space in your uterus. You'll feel her kicks and pokes more strongly with each passing week, with kick-strength peaking in about a month when she gets too crowded to do anything but squirm.

And She Returned Much Bigger And A Bit Disoriented

2005-10-03T14:06:00.000-05:00

I've been to Vancouver once before, when I was 20. My mom and I took a weekend trip for my 20th birthday which was awesome, but short. This trip was much longer and much better since we had such an experienced tour guide in CanaMa. We liked it so much we spent he last two days driving around looking at "For Sale" signs and wishing we made more money. Houses in Vancouver are expensive! But I digress. The best part about the trip was spending time with CanaMa in her new environment. She's been there for 8 months now and it was hard not being able to picture her when we spoke.

It really sucks being back in Texas. Everything feels foreign here now. It's a feeling akin to being uncomfortable in your own skin. Our goal is to get to Vancouver or hella close to it (maybe washington state?) in the next couple of years.

Here's the slideshow.
Most of the boat, seaplane, and water pictures were taken from CanaMa's windows. She's on the corner of her building and two entire sides of her place are all windows. It's absolutely breathtaking.

Some trip highlights:
1. Ellis gained a Canadian fairy godmother (the one with her hand on my belly), yay!! More about her later.

2. CanaMa got her ears pierced after 55 years of swearing up and down that she'd never ever, ever, ever, put holes in her body.

3. Kent rode the North Shore trails that he's been talking about riding since I met him. Trails you can see from CanaMa's living room.

4. Waking up to the mountain sunrise.

5. Canadian people really are as nice as you think. Whenever someone asked where we were from they said two things. "Oh really, you don't have an accent" and "Gosh did you get any damage from the hurricane?"

6. Getting my hair colored (red!) by my mom's stylist, with a new type of color that uses no amonia and is perfectly safe for me to use. She's due two weeks after I am.

7. Getting a spa pedicure and meeting my ankles again for the first time in months after the amazing foot/ankle/calf massage that went along with it. (Seriously, all the swelling just dissapeared like magic.)

8. Being surrounded by raw natural beauty every where I looked.

9. The food. Good Lord all the food.

10. Spending half days alone with my husband on our last adults only trip for a loooooong time.

11. Leaves bigger than my head are everywhere. I've never seen leaves so huge.

CanaMa and Me

2005-09-28T21:02:00.000-05:00

IMGP1780_63_q001_021.
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Vancouver Sunset from CanaMa's Bedroom Window

2005-09-28T21:01:00.000-05:00

IMGP1840_5_q001_079.
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

Ellis Street

2005-09-27T00:29:00.000-05:00

IMGP1779_64_q001_020.
Originally uploaded by KATIEmagic.

We made it! The stress has begun to melt away in the beautiful sunshine and nice cool weather. I'll probably add more pictures daily but won't write a whole bunch. All of our family was safe and sound and the storm missed Dallas completely. Which is a relief for me, but only until I think of all the people who weren't so lucky. Thank you guys for your concern, and for reading my highly un-entertaining stress induced ramblings. Ya'll are the best.

Helpless Hits Home

2005-09-22T11:07:00.000-05:00

I have a few minutes to post today because my cousin who left Houston at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, is still only 60 miles outside of Houston. Every highway out of town is a parking lot. She hasn't slept, or eaten, she's down to 1/2 a tank of gas and the last 6 gas stations she stopped at were completely out. She's at her wits end, and I don't blame her. She's doing her best to hold it together for her 6 year old. The Weather Channel people were saying yesterday evening that everyone had left in plenty of time, that they had never seen an evacuation so early before. Now I'm beginning to wonder if she'll have to ride out the storm in her car. (Update, she has found a place to stay between here and there, so if she can't find gas, at least she'll have shelter)

Kent's family is still all in Corpus even though they have issued mandatory evacuations there too. His brother in law is a nurse so he will have to stay behind unless by some miracle they let him leave. He will be working at the hospital about 50 yards from the water. Kent's brother is a city worker, so he has to stay behind as well, but at least his house is a few miles inland. Kent's niece who lives in Houston was scheduled to be induced on Saturday, but instead is driving to Austin with her medical records and hoping she doesn't go into labor on the way. His sister decided to drive south out of the hurricanes current path and hope it doesn't make a sudden turn. My brother who lives in Austin (3 hours from here) said everyone there is stocking up on water and supplies, just in case.

I have lived in Dallas my entire life and know nothing about hurricanes or hurricane preparedness. (Tornadoes I can handle, water? not so much.) We're hearing that it's a possibility that when the storm reaches us it could still be as strong as a category 2. We are 300 miles away from Galveston. I can't even comprehend this. It would be like an entire states worth of damage, and Texas is BIG.

Right now we're still planning to go to Vancouver. What happens with the storm between now and when it hits is anybodies guess. It could turn and miss our area completely. Most likely by the time it gets here it will just be like a bad thunderstorm. There is nothing we can do for our family except open our house to them. I've got really high anxiety about leaving the dogs in a potentially bad storm, but there will be people here to take care of them if anything disastrous happens. I'm back and forth though. If anything were to happen to any of our animals while we were gone I don't think I could ever forgive myself. See what I mean? Panic is setting in.

Chaos

2005-09-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

This is the post where I was going to write something clever about how we're going to Canada on Friday to see CanaMa. This is the post where I was going to write something penitent about how we've never been away from our dauggers for more than one night and how we're both really kind of freaking out about being away from them for 10 days.

This is the post where I was going to say something interesting about how I just had to drink that gross orange thing and have blood drawn for the Gestiational Diabetes test. And tell you (yes I know I just started a sentence with the word and, bite me) about how the shrimpy likes to swim away from the doppler every time cause he thinks it's cute.

But, this is the week when Rita arrives and my favorite cousin and her daughter (also my favorite) are being forced to evacuate along with the rest of my family down there. And this is the week Kent's good friend with a sick 7 month old is also evacuating. And this is the week when I now must ready the house with clean floors and supplies, and fresh sheets, and toilets that flush for our "evacuees". This is also the week when I have to do double work to make up for being gone next week, and get packed, and get the dogs and cats prepared to be without us. And so on, and so on, and so on.

So, forgive the spelling and the boring post. Hopefully I'll be able to post while we're in Vancouver (we leave Friday). If not, I hope everyone has a fabulous week next week. I'll "see" ya'll on the 2nd.

Happy Blogging!!

The Pout

2005-09-20T14:30:00.000-05:00

Look at the face I get when I make her come inside instead of sitting in the heat while she splashes around on the top step of the pool. It's tough to be the Bella dog.

Death Becomes Her

2005-09-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

You are the Death card. Death is a stage in the
cycle of life. Without death, there would be no
room for new things to grow. When you receive
the Death card in a tarot reading, fear not;
Death is only an indication that transformation
is about to occur. Death allows us all to
evolve by removing that which is no longer
needed. The end of one cycle makes way for a
new one. Old behaviours and patterns which have
tied us down are released. Death cleans house
so that we don't have needless drains on our
energy. In Death's ruthless destruction there
lies compassion. Image from: Danielle Sylvie
Taylor
http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What To Expect When You're An Idiot

2005-09-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Week 24: Makeup 101
Keep it simple is the golden rule for any pregnancy makeup routine. (This is not the time to channel your inner Cher.) Right now, your new best friends are a good concealer to camouflage blotchy skin and dark circles, and a natural bronzer or pinkish blush to give you a bit of a glow (no need to tell anyone that your glow is coming from cosmetics and not from within). Besides, it's the best time to get used to a more natural look — since your makeup application time will be seriously compromised once your baby begins his or her more demanding life on the outside. One more beauty boost: Switch to a light, fresh scent, such as citrus, since you may be extra-sensitive to fragrance right now.

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Now I know why I signed up for your weekly (ha! daily) newsletter! That is so helpful. I feel so much more prepared to care for a tiny helpless human being now. Maybe when he cries I'll just spray him with all that left over citrus perfume.